...that i don't have very many friends

just a hundred aquaintances

and the people
who i care about the most

are to far away to reach
literally and figuratively

the people i love
don't even know it
and i want them to
i tell them
but they don't even realize how much they mean to me

and for the first time in my life i realize exactly how alone i really am

during H block today i was walking outside
alone

and i realized that i want someone
anyone
who i can just walk with
and not even say anything
and still communicate volumes

i want someone who i can sit with
and look at them and laugh
because we're both thinking the same thing

i want a friend
not a girlfriend
just a close friend
anyone

i want to someone who
understands
where i am coming from

someone who i can talk to
one on one

i want someone
who respects me and everything i am
my craziness
my ocd
my quirks
my flaws

i want someone
who will call me late at night
just to say hello
and then goodbye

someone who i can tell the few secrets i have to
who i can tell them all the secrets everyone already knows
and have them promise not to tell

i'm not looking for someone to date
or anything like that
i want to have a friend
because it turns out

that i don't really have very many